Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my side step
Gonna use my fingers…
Brass In My Pocket Chrissie Hynde & the Pretenders, 1980
Ah yes, my fingers. I got all my casts cut off over a week ago. I now learn about the collateral damage they caused in seven weeks. All the strength in my hand is gone. When I hold out my arm, the skin of the upper portion just sags where my triceps once held everything strong. My fingers are stiff from non-use.
Enter Sabina, my new, young Dutch physio therapist. She lays out four exercises for me to work my hand and wrist. “If you don’t do these, your fingers will become stokjes (sticks). You need to learn to bend each segment of each finger to get them flexible and working again. And you should do these exercises every hour.”
Sabina also instructed me how to do the same with my feet. I still have strict doctor’s orders not to put any weight on my feet. Healing of the shattered heel bones takes months. Thus I do my feet PT with my legs elevated horizontally in the air.
So the first day I do all my exercises every hour on the hour. I set an alarm on the I phone to remind me. By day’s end, my left hand and foot are swollen and throbbing with pain. Bring on the opiates. The following day my left foot is still bad. I touch the sole and the skin is as tight as the head of a drum. I continue the PT with my hand and right foot but cut back to only three sessions. The next day I can only do two, but I begin working the left foot again.
Then there are the hemtomas. The impact of my fall caused several blood vessels to rupture. The blood then traveled out of the pipe and grouped together in what looks from the outside like a very bad bruise. The one under the cast of my arm traveled up to my tricep. I looked terrible but didn’t hurt. However, when my left foot’s cast was removed I found a nasty one the covered half of my sole. That one still gives great pain daily. Then a few days later, a tiny hematoma appear on the middle toe of my right foot with absolutely no pain. Man, this recovery process is very weird.
And so it goes. The game with physical therapy is tricky. Do too much and you regress. Don’t do enough and your fingers become stokjes, stiff as sticks. And as Chrissie Hynde finishes the chorus, Gonna use my, my, my imagination, I consider my options. Yes, I’m going to use that brass in my pocket. It’s the only thing that I can do at this point.